Teachers in Public


Photo by Haven Lee

 We’ve all been there. You’re at Zanotto’s, in the parking lot. You just finished lunch and are about to go home and “do homework” (Netflix) when lo and behold, who do you see? It’s Ms. Ralston picking up her weekly groceries!


What do you do?!? Hide? Run? Approach her?!! Never fear, for this is the ultimate guide to dealing when the most troublesome of situations occurs: seeing a teacher outside of school.


First order of business: Stay calm. Teachers can smell fear. They are more likely to approach a nervous, unprepared student than one who is calm and cool headed. Like how they only call on you that one time you have no idea what’s going on in class.  


If you insist on freaking out at the slightest glimpse of a teacher, there will be no hope for you. The only thing you can do is prepare yourself for the upcoming barrage of questions about projects and homework and CRPs. Remember this: a calm student is a prepared student even in a worst case scenario.


Have they spotted you yet? If they haven’t there is still time to make your get-away. Walk away slowly so as not to draw attention to yourself. If you have a vehicle, use it, but if you’re unlucky enough to be stranded out in the open, find the nearest building and head towards it.


The key to remaining unnoticed is not drawing attention to yourself. Hide your face and any noticeable Pres wear in order to make yourself look as insignificant as the next ordinary joe. Maintain your calm, slow walk until you reach cover. Remember: if you can see them, they can see you. Keep moving until you are certain that you are out of sight, and then you can freak out. Until then, maintaining a cool appearance is key.


If you are unlucky enough to find yourself in the path of an oncoming teacher and you can’t get away, you’re screwed. Ready yourself for the most terrifyingly awkward conversation of your life.


As a rule, give answers that satisfy their questions, but don’t prolong the conversation. Be polite, but not personal. Don’t interrupt. If you interrupt, its over. You’re done. They’ll be struggling to finish the conversation from where they left off and you’ll be struggling to fight the urge to run away mid-sentence.


Keep it simple, keep it sweet, keep it polite, and keep it from ever happening again. Remember, teachers are dangerous creatures out in the wild–never be caught unawares.