The Voice

Stupid Opinions People are Angry About

Samantha Olivares-Ramirez, Special Features Editor

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Before I even start this I’d just like to say that, in general, I respect everyone’s opinions. However, there are some of you out there that just have everything wrong. I am about to take some valuable time out of my day to teach all of you the right way to think.

First of all, who in their right mind would ever like crunchy peanut butter over smooth peanut butter? Excuse me for being right, but I really don’t see how chewing your butter is appealing to some of you. The whole point of butter is for it to be smooth and only smooth!

Speaking of food, let’s move on to the whole pineapple on pizza debate. To be completely honest, I am not a big fan of pineapple itself but that is beside the point. Pineapple has no business being on pizza, like none whatsoever. Repeat after me: No. Fruit. On. Pizza.

Moving on to a topic that I am very passionate about so you guys should listen up and pay attention closely. We all know that age-old debate about what comes first, the chicken or the egg. Well, this one is nothing like that because there is a clear right and wrong answer. Here it is: the cereal ALWAYS comes before the milk. Always.

I don’t care about what anyone else tries to tell you, this is the right way to do things. If you stop to think about this logically and correctly, it is clear to see that this way is only beneficial. There is really no reason to seriously think otherwise, since doing it in this order maximizes the amount of cereal you can serve yourself. I cannot trust anyone who pours their milk before the cereal, I really can’t.

Next on the list of things you guys have all wrong are subject colors. Obviously, there is some flexibility to this. Some subjects and colors have more than one color that is appropriate, but don’t forget that not all of them do. Let’s start off with the basics: science is green, math is blue, religion is yellow, purple is for the arts and foreign language (in my case, Spanish) is orange. Then there is red for history, a lighter blue for English and a lighter green for P.E./Health and all other random electives. Now you know the acceptable way to color your subjects so there can be no excuses if I catch you red-handed (or brown-scienced).

I hope that this helped you educate yourself on how the world actually works. Please feel free to take notes on this article and carry it with you at all times so that you can make sure you’re always doing the right thing.

 

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