Don’t Fall for Fall

The Truth Behind Our "Favorite" Season


Jacqueline Gill, Copy Editor

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the season everyone loves to pretend is the most wonderful of all, even though it clearly isn’t. As the season of fall looms above us like a bad metaphor, I wanted to take a stab at celebrating all of the absolutely fall-tastic things that are about happen.

Talking about stabbing, Halloween is coming up. Those fabulously fake pumpkins have been haunting Safeway since August. Which is the true Halloween nightmare.

Also a Halloween nightmare – clowns. They always come out this time of year.

Fall seems to believe that there can never be too much of anything. Pumpkin candles, pumpkin bread, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin spiced caramel corn, pumpkin pie smoothies,  pumpkin pie pancakes, pumpkin grilled cheese, pumpkin lasagna, a nice slice of pumpkin pizza, and of course the infamous latte are all the vital ingredients to the perfect fall. But I draw the line at pumpkin spice Pringles, which is really a thing.


And how do I just know that the Hocus Pocus references will run rampant? That incredibly overplayed movie has to be the best thing I have ever seen in my life. No wonder nobody will shut up about it.

Also, I will personally hand-deliver bonus points if you manage to spot more than 25 pairs of Uggs between second and third period. Which, in all honesty, should be a breeze because Pres girls will not give up their 2002-era sheepskin boots even on days with 80 degree weather.

The PSAT is the cherry on top of the season that is fall. I’ve never been quite sure how we are technically supposed to prepare. My plan this year is to stuff my face with candy corn. Seems legit.

Guess what else is coming up? Pres Plague. I hope everybody is prepped for the sweet symphony of 17 people blowing their nose at the same time. It is going to be beautiful.

And finally, as we all know, the rain is coming. And the Pres parking lot will flood. Again.  At least the 100 degree weather will soon be banished back to where it came from.


Let’s all try and hope for the best. If that’s even possible.