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Nicole Morgan, Sports Editor

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One of Catholic school girls’ favorite pastimes is to sit around and exchange awful sex-ed stories. From abstinence videos that feature 30 year-olds posing as teenagers to blatantly incorrect facts about the female reproductive system, almost every kid that went to religious school has their fair share of bad sex-ed experiences.

Everyone remembers the dreaded middle school sex-ed class. Teachers would use strange euphemisms for our growing bodies, and everyone would giggle when private parts were mentioned.

The purpose of sex education at middle schools is to educate and prepare growing teenagers for the realities of their changing bodies, as well as sexual intercourse’s many parts and consequences. But, at religious middle schools, thing sometimes go…awry

Obviously, these lessons are ones that reflect the teachings of the Catholic Church, but they also leave a lot of room for error. The lessons taught at these schools are often flat out incorrect–with hilarious results.

At one Catholic school, students were told that the vagina is permanently stretched after intercourse, causing those who have had sex to needwider tampons during their period. In what universe is that even close to true? The female body can push out a giant baby head, there is absolutely no way that having sex would change your anatomy.

During another “Family Life” lesson, a female teacher told her students that their period flow would stop in water, eliminating the need for period products while swimming. Not only is that pretty gross, it’s just not true. Period blood does not stop flowing in water, and bleeding in public pools is just nasty and really unsanitary. Why risk it? Just wear a tampon.

Giving immature, impressionable preteens incorrect information is really not a great idea. They will believe pretty much anything they are told and will probably fail Anatomy in high school. Just ask Mr. Wang, he would know.

Another anonymous Presentation student remembers that in one of her 5th grade classes, her teacher proceeded to take a vase and smash it on the ground, stating that “This is what happens when you lose your virginity. You can try to put it back together, but you will never be the same.” This was not even a sex-ed lesson, it was English class!

Conversations about sex are always awkward, but that’s just downright terrifying. Teenagers have enough going on with changing bodies and raging hormones that they are already scared to death. They don’t need to be cleaning up glass too.

Sex ed in any middle school is always unpleasant, but religious middle schools take it to a whole new level of awkward.

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