Steve Jobs Already Looking for Lost AirPod After New iPhone 7 Finally Shipped to Heaven

Anna Roth, Satire, Social Media Editor

 A source close to the Voice confirmed that a second order for the new Apple AirPods has been placed under the name Steve Jobs to the address to 100 IOS Way, South Paradise, Heaven, 77777.

   The AirPod replacement order came after an initial UPS tracking order confirmed the shipment of a pre-ordered iPhone 7 and Airpods to the same address.

   The same source reported that the AirPod was lost during an “Innovators of the Past Three Centuries” mixer in which Jobs was doing a mock product release, dropped one of the pods, and Michael Jackson accidentally kicked it away while moonwalking.

   For the rest of the mixer, Jobs was reported to be on his hands and knees in an attempt to recover Apple’s latest cutting edge product. At one point Benjamin Franklin was said to have lent the very first pair of bifocals to aid Job’s search.

   Jobs finally gave up after Thomas Edison’s experimental light bulb went out, leaving Apple’s first CEO without light to continue the search.

   After emailing everyone on the Evite list to look for the four-centimeter pod to no avail, Jobs’ assistant told the Voice that he was instructed to email long-time friend and now Apple CEO Tim Cook “to ask for a [expletive] discount or a free replacement of those tiny metal stains on my dignity.”

   The Voice reached out to Apple concerning its founder’s frustration but Apple has yet to comment on the matter.