Dear Nano…


Presentation High School

Cristina Caltagirone, Reporter

Dear Nano,
My best friend just got into a relationship with a guy she met at a mixer but I’ve heard he’s kind of a bad influence. What should I do?

A mixer? Is it supposed to be a blended drink? If so, how do you get inside a drink with another guy? Well, about your friend’s relationship, tell her Nano was able to live a pretty fulfilling life without a man so boys are not always the answer. Oh yes, we all know bad boys are the best boys but tell her to forget him and focus on school! I didn’t dedicate my life to education for you to go chasing rebels!

Dear Nano,
I’m trying to sound different and unique for these college applications but I can’t come up with any good ideas. HELP!

Tell the college I said you were the right choice. Who says no to Nano Nagle? As for the essay writing, write about something you’re passionate about and have a lot to say. Don’t worry about what the admissions people will think of you but how to make yourself stand out. I don’t really know much about colleges in today’s world, but looking down from Heaven’s point of view, you people really stress out about it. Don’t worry! Education might be my motto but don’t hurt yourself.

Dear Nano,
I saw a girl in my religion class the other day cheat off of the girl sitting next to her. Should I tell anyone or keep it to myself?

Who cheats in a religion class? I guess there’s some pretty bold people in school nowadays. But what should you do? Tell the girl not to cheat! Go right up to her and say, “Hey you, I know your dirty secret. Yeah. Watch it.” If you see her do it again, just tell your teacher. If that girl wants to learn religion, the first thing she needs to learn is how to not commit a mortal sin. But don’t stress – I’m becoming a saint, so I can tell God personally to work on her bad habits.

Dear Nano,
I don’t have time to read any of my English novels because I’m such a slow reader, but I don’t want to fail my reading quizzes! Is Sparknotes considered cheating?

What is a Sparknotes? I’m getting the vibe that it’s a type of love letter that makes you feel special. Well, I can only imagine how much these Sparknotes mean to you on the daily. I don’t know why these love poems would be called cheating though. Maybe check in with your secret admirer. But look here, reading is important to your learning! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that if you’re a bit slow with words on a page, then you should probably start early.