A Horrible Hallmark Holiday
December 14, 2016 • 137 views
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On October 29, Hallmark officially kicked off its annual Countdown to Christmas by playing the previous fan-favorites and new original Hallmark Christmas movies. As a grinch of Hallmark, I struggled to keep an unbiased state of mind when reviewing these movies, knowing that the Hallmark channel is not exactly a beacon of high quality programming.
However, as I find myself strangely singing carols around the house, driving around town in search of Christmas lights, and desiring to decorate christmas cookies, I guess you can say Hallmark has done its job. So here are a few movies that you can but shouldn’t watch.
A Dream of Christmas
Let’s just say this. From the start of the movie, I felt as if I were reading the script right in front of me…for the 5th time. The plot and script was predictable, boring, and typical of Hallmark. There were at least 13 unnecessary close-ups. And 6 of these close ups were of the most embarrassing and uncomfortable facial expressions that, if taken out, would’ve made the movie a tad more forgivable. Oh, and let’s not forget due to this diversely fortifying American audience of 2016, I was happy to see a change in casting for once. Hallmark finally casted one, just one, black character at a meeting with a majority of white people. So way to go, Hallmark? It’s inspiring, really. But to be serious, A Dream of Christmas? More like The Nightmare Before Christmas. Rating: D
Let it Snow
I actually kind of enjoyed this one. Not because of the G-rated steamy chemistry between corporate businesswoman Stephanie and Lumberjack Brady, but, because the script and acting were surprisingly not that bad. However, it seems Hallmark deliberately picks male leads having what seems to be a hot-bod, but one may never know because they never take their shirt off. Forewarning: if you’re looking for Nicholas Sparks, it’s not here. But despite this, even though the storyline is also a little dull, it’s still worth a watch as an excuse and distraction from talking to that one weird cousin while waiting for Christmas dinner. I guess thank you for that, Hallmark. Rating: B
A Wish for Christmas
I have a theory. If you’ve also noticed the common theme in all three movies, you’ve realized these films are focused on the corporate industry and finding love through the hardships of work. I predict Hallmark is banking on the relatability and desirable fantasy factor in order to generate high ratings and a wide range of audiences. As kids watch, they have hope that they will find love and happiness in their future, despite their occupational goals. And as adults watch, they also have hope that they still have the chance to find love in their busy schedule, especially during what can be a lonely time of year if you’re single. While this movie also had cringy lines and awkward encounters, its message held true to the lead character. Which is just a nice way of commenting on every bad movie’s happily ever after. I mean talk about a waste: there are literally the same scenes in the first and last 10 minutes of the film, with the exception of one having a kiss. But, I guess you’ll just have to watch it to find out which 10 it is. So, enjoy the nap. Rating: C+